I don't give a damn, I'm happy as a clam, nobody knows me at all Ah, what can you do? There's nobody like you. Nobody knows me at all

theres just isnt enough time in a day.

If you can’t sleep, I’ll be there in your dreams I’ll be there in your dreams If you can’t sleep at all And in your dreams, I’ll touch your cheek

this week with craig was awesome and crazy.

Now I'm covered up in snow. Please give me some kind of sign: Is this the right place? Or the right time?

the past couple of days i started to have nose bleeds. this stress is overwhelming. i'm trying to wrap my mind around what i need to do but it's really hard.

"I think I should understand that better, if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it."

i've been thinking too much.
that's it.



alice in wonderland was wonderful.

Did you forget how much you once loved me And if you want something back All the things that got cracked When i felt like you lied to me

i saw the royal tenenbaums for the first time the other night at mikey's house. for sure one of my top favourite movies. i bought 12 more movies. my dvd collection is out of control. i love it.




i'm still kind of at loss of what to do right now.
i forgot what i wanted to write about :]

a stranger's just someone that you've forgotten how will we know if we've met before

found out that circa survive is playing in orlando, i am really wanting to go see them!
autumn cleaned my apartment for me and i bought her a tanning membership to pay her back, BRONZE BUNZ!




i am so looking forward to ashleyrenees baby shower this saturday, i can't believe she's gonna have a baby still :] autumn and i are getting her present friday i think and riding together saturday. should be lotsa fun!

I never expected you to love me The way i loved you To have you near Was all I wanted Just to have you near

I am completely frustrated with the fact that my insurance I’ve been waiting for will not cover my preexisting conditions. Fuck me right?
I have to cancel my appointment AGAIN with Dr. V and live with the fact that I will be forever doomed.
I feel like dropping my long awaited insurance.

I wonder if I can go through anything else other than my works insurance to cover my preexisting conditions? Who knows? I feel like giving up. It’s exhausting being the only one on my side.

I’m sick and tired of coming to work knowing that $2 coming out of my pay check every day is going to nothing at all for me because there is nothing here to eat except veggie burgers. Don’t get me wrong, I was more than grateful to have veggie burgers brought in for myself...but after five or six months or so of eating them every single day, I am quite sick of them. Everyone else here gets to eat a different meal on the Chefs Special because they all eat meat. I feel like I’m being punished and singled out because I have a medical condition that I honestly can not eat meat or else it makes it so much more difficult for me. Yeah so what there are salads here to eat…not for me! I eat A LOT and a puny little salad isn’t going to fill me up. I don’t want to sound picky or snobby or whiney, but COME ON. All I am asking is you know throw in some pasta without meat sauce for once or something. This place is sucking the life-force out of me.

No one understands.

No one's out here and I was not followed. Love, love...you're already home. Party's over and you don't look so good.

i just saw an episode of my life as liz. i am obsessed. she is so awkward and amazing. i wish i could be her sidekick.

i am hoping i'm not getting tonsillitis AGAIN. poor me.

did you ever think about your music theory, what about my working at the first place we basically met theory?

to the bathroom confess your sins and sing some early morning hymns

i need to work on my sleep schedule! i feel like i will be forever doomed as a night owl.

p.s. hoping craig will for sure be down for his spring break, meaning i need to get into bikini body shape.

Slow it down, you have a tendency to rush back into your past. Slow it down, you transfer all your weight and disappear.

i saw youth in revolt last night with shayna, alex and derek. it was really funny and really weird. i love michael cera, everyone says he does the same roles, but i wouldn't want anyone else playing them.



IT SNOWED ON SATURDAY! IT SNOWED ON 1-09-10 IN FLORIDA! it was so cool! there was snow on my windshield and i drove it to my moms and autumn and our threw snowballs at each other :] i wish it would snow here more often, that was amazing!
i guess being from florida and only seeing snow a couple of times gets me really excited to actually see it here at my own home.
it was so nice seeing my aunt and uncle from georgia, we all went to uncle donalds for lunch.



c'est la vie

Do I have nothing good left to say? Do I need whiskey to start fueling my complaints? People love to drink their troubles away.

i went to see sherlock holmes with alex and shayna monday night. it was AMAZING, so much better than what i expected it to be!
we were sitting there through the movie so into it until not ten minutes left of the film and it shuts off. everyone was looking around asking what's going on put the movie back! my heart was going on the edge of my seat and it ruined the moment! it took them a while to get it back on and it skipped a couple scenes. we all got our money back plus a free ticket. so that's nice! everyone is talking about how amazing avatar is, but it doesn't really seem interesting to me. alex wants to see it so maybe i will just go with him with my free ticket.



my aunt joan and uncle jimmy are down from GA this weekend. i am going over to my moms tomorrow night to see them and hopefully going to my uncle donalds for lunch saturday with everyone.

i love getting on yahoo and finding new tips for healthy eating and exercise, ect.

i always get it better right afterwards when all the wrong impressions are said and heard.

it was so nice seeing rachel and douglas :]



i think i had the best christmas i have had in a really long time.

They're seven days below us That keep me hovered above the ground And nights just blend into the morning Definition is the first to go down

I think I may be getting sick..OH NO.



I figured out what shoes I was for Christmas..those EasyTones ones, I wonder if they really work. Also work out clothes. I need to hit the gym big time.

I went to the doctor yesterday morning. He said I have Pityriasis Rosea when I thought it was ringworm all along (I WAS ESTATIC WHEN HE SAID IT IS NOT CONTAGIOUS, I WAS SO WORRIED). Anyway, there is no cure for it but he said to take Zyrtec for the itchiness and UV rays to..I don't know exactly what now. Help with the itching too..I forget what he said. I've read acticles online and a lot of people with this virus have used the tanning beds to help with it and they just about all say it helped so much within the first week. I've never been to a tanning bed and I went for the first time yesterday. She put me in there for 5 minutes since I am very fair skin and it was my first time. It was so relaxing! I am ready to go back! I am one of the few people with this virus that have extreme itchiness and he said it usually never comes back but it can in some cases..with my luck I am hoping it doesn't. It's so ugly..

Anyway..I bought Alex's Christmas gift, he will be SO happy. Probably the best gift I have ever gotten him. 20 more days until then!



Alex got me a Chi flat iron and Mario on the Wii for our three year anniversary :] VERY awesome gifts!

My stomach ulcers are back to the point of having to vomit after I eat.

Stop crying to the ocean, stop crying over me. Stop worrying over nothing, stop worrying over me.

last night was a lot of fun. my cousin amanda, who moved to virgina five years ago, is down here for the week. she came and saw me with my other cousin greg at work last night and i invited her to come with me to jose's house for drinks and fun. she came and met me at my work when i got off and we went over there and she met my friends and they all loved her because her son is named after brock lesner and his middle name after broly in DBZ :] we all stayed up all night until five in the morning and went to waffle house and i bought her breakfast. it was so awesome to hang out with her!





i have a busy week..which i will be getting no sleep at ALL.
tonight i am working until midnight. tomorrow i get up at 9ish to go to my moms for thanksgiving and then to sally's for second thanksgiving. then to work until midnight. then i get back here friday morning at seven until three (and football is here that day LAST ONE!). then on saturday is the family reunion i am SO excited for. i am going to feast on bbq and boiled peanuts!

for christmas this year i didn't think i really wanted anything since brianne and guy got me a car :] THANKS AGAIN!
but autumn and ryan asked me today what i wanted so i thought more about it.
i would like a nice pair of running shoes.
i would love an ipod but that would have to be a personal gift to myself since they're so expensive.
i would like a new knee since mine is messed up from the accident.
hmm...i really can't think of anything else.

So I was the lycky one Reading letters, not writing them Taking pictures of anyone I know

well well well..
i got into an accident.
i was riding home on my moped tuesday night from work and it had rained earlier that day so the roads were very slick. i was just less than a mile down the road when i was about to turn right on the road for a shortcut home. i guess i didn't slow down fast enough or maybe i didn't break soon enough or turned too soon or whatever but as i turned to the right my scooter flew right from under me. all i remember was seeing my hands out in front of me and rolling across the road. when i came to i was near the sidewalk i think. i looked around me and as soon as i stood up i screamed from the pain coming from my right knee. i hobbled to the sidewalk and looked at my bike in the other lane. i took off my helmet and limped over to my bike to try and pull it over to the sidewalk but i couldn't even move it an inch. finally a guy was pulling out onto the road and saw me and ran over to me asking if i was okay as another guy stopped behind my scooter and came out and asked the same question. they helped me back onto the sidewalk and put my scooter up there as well. turns out one of the guys was an off duty police officer so he was calming me down and started looking at my cuts and noticed everything right away so fast. the other guy asked if i needed anything and ran over to burger king to get me a bag of ice for my knee. while he was doing that the other guy was trying to call help or an ambulance for me, all i did was tell him no please don't i can't afford that i have no insurance, i told him my friend was on his way and he's a nurse. i got ahold of jose before i did alex. jose got me home and wrapped and cleaned up my cuts. i scraped my right foot, my right knee has a good size gash in it and very swollen, my left knee scraped and swollen and both my elbows cut and bruised.
i got out really lucky.
i finally did go to the ER because my little sister was freaking me out with "oh what if something is really messed up and it heals wrong and you'll never be the same" she took me there and i feel like none of the doctors even helped me. i got in right away (thanks mom LOL) and they said i would need stitches. when the doctor got there and i told him it happened the night before he said it was to late for stitches. he bent my knee and hurt me doing so. i got wheeled into the xray room and the radiologist had to bend my knee even further so that sucked again. the doctor said i need a tetanus shot, never got that. he told me to follow up with my regular doctor within the next few days so i called dr. morse yesterday and when his nurse called me back she said he can see me next week?
well now i think it's infected and i want antibiotics.
my mom is coming to take a look at it tomorrow so she will take me there if needed.

If you see these tears fill in my eyes It's just the wind that makes me cry If you could feel this pain inside It's from the drinks we drank last nite

of course i had to browse the internet and find your wedding registry.
i'd like to lay down and die right now.

You show up like a hurricane, all hungry-eyed and weather-stained The clock forgets to tick and I the same

i'm not going to sit around and listen to you make fun of my dog, she's my everything.
i'm not going to enjoy being around you when you are piercingly loud when we can all hear you perfectly fine.
maybe i was just in a bad mood last night but i couldn't handle anything.
i tried drinking some but it wasn't fun and just made my stomach hurt.
i spent the rest of the night in bed.

i got up this morning and had to clean up the mess. smelled like beer so i lit a candle. i feel so pessimistic now towards drinking. i feel so pessimistic towards a lot of things i used to do. i am on such a health kick and i don't want to fall back into anything. it's hard enough to live with alex lately.

Now I've traveled across the ocean, with the same shoes just longer hair.

just a quick update:

the combination of changing my eating habits (vegetarian & eating much more fruits/veggies), eating activia (yogurt isn't my favourite, but it is really good for you & i an doing their 14 day challenge), quitting drinking (for the most part, seriously) and FINALLY buying my asacol prescribtion have DRAMATICLY helped me with my colitis. it has only been less than a week with the changes of food/drinks and two days with my pills and it's a world of difference.

it was really, really expensive for the pills without insurance. $291 for a months worth..
my mom has helped me out by talking with my old doctors to see if i could get free samples until december when i get my insurance. nothing yet, but there is a website she said that if i get my doctors signature on the papers i can get a whole months filled for free! so i have to get those signed tomorrow if he is available..i need to go to his office anyway, i have an appointment with him in december and need to fill out updated patient forms.

::whew::

i am ready for insurance.

Saying yes instead of no, And wondering what to make, of my directions.

HELLO!
I have decided to start over blogging.
I can't blog at work anymore..and I can't blog at home. So I am at Barnes&Noble right now using the interwebz. I wish I had internet at home still.

There are really loud girl scouts and their moms in front of me.

I am a vegetarian again, or really a Pescatarian. Still eat fish.
It's for health reasons, although I didn't eat much meat in the first place.

I finally got the book I have been wanting for a little while now! It's called "Looking for Alaska" by John Green. I never heard about this author until I was browsing through the blogspot space and saw a quote from this book.

"I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane. "

I am excited to get home today to read it.
Sheik went into heat today..I have really been meaning to take her to get spayed but just haven't got around to it. I hope there won't be any complications with it, I know it isn't good for them to have the surgery after it.
::crossing fingers::

Alex and I may be going to see Zombieland tonight. I want to see Whip It too and Autumn and I are going to be seeing Toy Story 1&2 in 3D later this week!

I have to beat Phantom Hour Glass too because Spirit Tracks is coming out in a couple months!

Hmm..I guess this is good enough for now.